OOOOH!!! LOOK AT ME! I did 165 hours of silent meditation last year! Aren’t I spiritual?
And this is the first time I’ve shown this to anyone. Isn’t that humble? And this screenshot was from over a month ago, when I had many fewer hours logged. Isn’t that modest? And I’m clearly making fun of myself now. Isn’t that self-effacing?
I don’t tell you about all the hours I volunteer and all the money I donate not because I’m such a spiritual person, but because I’m not – because I think that withholding that information makes me a better person. Have you ever read The Fall by Camus? The opening monologue yanked out my precious soul and ground it into the cheap meat I always knew it was.
Am I being too hard on myself? Probably. Am I utterly devoid of pure, loving motivation? No, not utterly. But my cup runneth over with spiritual materialism. This isn’t novice meditator stuff & I promise I’ll explain more later, but I’m behind on work and living out of a bag this weekend and I just wanted to say hi and lay this on you. Dig it, man.
5 thoughts on “Spiritual Materialism, pt. 1”
I find I can replace my attachment to the physical with distracting proxies which are also not of the central power of grace, mercy, compassion, and Love.
I am able to be misdirected in a flash. The sense or feeling of self pride or accomplishment is a que: Bill you are not focused where it would be best.
Indeed. If we can be redirected as quickly, though, that’s pretty good. It happens sometimes, but it’s not easy.
Do you withhold the praiseworthy information because you feel like a better person for doing so, or because people are often quick to judge if others appear to be bragging? (Genuinely curious, not judging. ;)) I think about this sometimes, that there’s a difference between bragging and being happy with oneself and a difference between being happy with oneself and wanting to share to invite others to volunteer and donate. And the only one that feels icky to me is bragging.
I’m with you, Laurie. I think I’m far more critical of myself and any expression of self-praise than other people are of me. I know there are situations when you’re supposed to give yourself kudos, but whenever I do so out loud, I just feel gross. But I find ways around it. I not only do it internally, I do it out loud in sneaky, sideways fashion. I can’t give you any good examples now, but I know I do that.